Bouncing Back

At the beginning of this New Year, I made the decision that one of my primary resolutions was going to be NOT to let the negative behavior of other people bother me. My dearly beloved father use to always tell me, "Baby, don't be a reactionary. You know," he would go on, "out there in Hollywood, you're dealing with snakes". My father had a thing about Tinseltown. He certainly enjoyed his daughter's success in the business and was so proud that I had reached my goal of being on a national entertainment show. However, he always wanted me to stay grounded and not be sucked in by the superficial nature of this business. He'd much rather listen to NPR than to hear what everyone was wearing on the red carpet. Whenever, I would tell him that I ran into someone who was a real jerk, he would tell me, "Get use to it. That is the town you live in. It's ALL fake", he would sternly say. I would tell my father about all the wonderful people that do live in this town and that many are fine, upstanding folks who have good morals and values but, Dad, being the Southern-boy who was a Mid-western transplant, he would look at me with a very skeptical eye.  

I was reminded of my father's judgmental view of Hollywood yesterday during a conversation with someone in the business. The conversation could have gone well if this person wasn't hiding their true intentions and very BADLY hiding them. I knew, from the beginning of the conversation, that it was not going to go well because they were not being truthful about the first FOUR points they made. I kept giving them a very logical counterpoint and every time I did, they would say something to totally contradict what they had just told me. I hate to call them "lies" because Grandma (God rest her saintly soul) would not like me using that term but...). It was very frustrating. When we concluded the conversation and got off the phone, I was just fuming. "How could they say those things??" I kept asking myself. "I thought they had more character than that!" I was disappointed in this person and in myself for trusting them and holding them to a higher standard in the first place. I had a panel discussion later that night, for which I really needed to be at the top of my game. But, this conversation and the untruths that were made were hanging over me, dampening my spirit and I hated the control it had over me.

After a few HOURS of feeling so frustrated, I started looking at some of the pictures on my phone and came upon a screenshot I had taken of a quote I found on Instagram. It said, "God can STILL make a way." I instantly felt CALM. I began to see things in a more objective manner. Many things started coming to me: "I am upset now, but this moment will pass like they always do." "This person doesn't have control over my life." "There are other people who will be supportive of me." "This person will have to deal with their own karma and it's not for me to judge them, just to send prayers their way". "As long as I act with intergrity, I can look at myself in the mirror and love the reflection that I see." Positive thought after positive thought just kept flowing into my mind. I realized, as my father told me, I had a CHOICE to either let other people's bad behavior affect me in a negative way or to not let them infect my spirit and to keep on pushing forward. Trust me, it wasn't easy and I still have moments of struggling with what this person did. However, I can still see the light through those moments and know that, if I choose to live with integrity, I will always find success. 

 

Firsts and Seconds

Very honored to have been in ALL their company. I met Vice President Joe Biden first when he was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Then, I met First Lady Michelle Obama and Second Lady Dr. Jill Biden when I interviewed them during the second Inaguration. Last, but certainly not least, I met President Barack Obama at a fundraiser at the home of actress Gwyneth Paltrow. 

Oprah's Leadership Academy for Girls

There are few experiences that have changed my life. I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel the world and learn about cultures that, before, I had only seen on television. I will always remember my visit to Oprah Winfrey's Leadership Academy for Girls in Johannesburg, South Africa.  The girls chosen to attend this school were the smartest girls in their communities - the cream of the crop. They were so excited to be going to class in this beautiful new state-of-the-art school that would set them on the path to be the leaders of tomorrow.

Sitting with the girls of the Leadership Academy

This picture is one of my favorites. It was taken on the first day all of the journalists came on campus to tour the classrooms. The students gathered around me for a picture and I remember them being so energetic and grateful for the opportunity to go to the Academy. I love hearing updates about them because I know they are going to take over the world! ~ Shaun

How I Will Spend the First Father's Day Without My Dad

Hi there,

I want to share this article with you that I wrote for the Huffington Post last month when Father's Day was approaching. My dad had recently passed away and I was filled with emotion. People had been telling me that the first Father's Day was going to be extraordinarily tough to get through. I was dreading the day until the pastor of my church told me something that totally changed my perspective. Take a look. I hope it helps you or something you love.

http://tinyurl.com/qfwcmqp

Dad and me at our joint July birthday party in 2013

I Hope You Dance

That song by Le Ann Womack moves me every time I hear it.

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder....May you never take one single breath for granted...And when you have the chance to sit it out or dance...I hope you daaaaance!"

I remember seeing Lee Ann perform it on the Oprah show years ago and ever since, I have felt it was the ultimate, "Enjoy Life" song.

I had a reminder of the message of "I Hope You Dance" this past Monday.  As I do every Monday, I covered the show, 'Dancing with the Stars'. The producers always give me a seat in the audience and then, after the show, I will go backstage and interview the celebrities and professional dancers. I arrive to the venue about 45 minutes before the show starts. Every week, there is a "warm up" guy whose job it is to get the audience members revved up and excited for the show so they clap extra hard and scream extra loud during the actual show to give it a really good energy for everyone watching at home. He tells the audience jokes and gives them the rules of the night - no talking on cell phones, no chewing gum - but, most of all, have a lot of fun. Then, to really get them excited, he calls everyone out on the floor and leads them in a huge dance party. They turn the music up loud while everyone gets to show off their moves. They do the wobble, the electric slide...they shimmy and they shake and basically, raise the roof. It is really fun to watch. And I say "watch". That's what I do from my seat. No, I never join in. Not that I don't love to dance, I do - especially being from Motown. This Detroit girl can bust a move when she wants to. But, while I am watching the pre-party at Dancing with the Stars, I am continuing my long day from work - checking the 200-plus emails I have gotten during the day, responding to assignment requests, catching up on the lastest breaking news and sifting through all the "Reply All" jokes about many of the crazy stories that happen. To put it bluntly, there is no time for fun. And, if I have to admit, I really didn't want to risk anyone getting some potential YouTube video of that woman on TV grooving to "Shake It Off".

But, on this particular day, while I was on "delete-email-Number123", I happened to glance up to check out the revelry and I noticed a woman who was dancing VERY enthusiastically. She was swinging her arms and spinning and twirling and seemed to be having the best time. I couldn't take my eyes off of her (and neither could anyone else). She really stood out. Talk about someone "waving their arms in the air like they just don't care"...well, she was definitely doing that all the while having the biggest grin on her face. After about 10 minutes, the audience went back to their seats and I chuckled when I saw the dancing lady was actually sitting just a few rows from me. With just a few minutes to go before the actual show went on the air, the "warm-up" guy then went over to the woman and asked her about her dancing, teasing her about being the center of attention. She responded by saying, "Well, I am a Stage 4 cancer survivor. I'm alive 3 years after doctors told me I wouldn't be here and I enjoy every, single moment". The audience then cheered and I was close to tears. Here she was, fighting a serious battle but, not letting it get the best of her.  She was living  every minute as if it were her last - dancing as hard and as much has she could, not afraid of who was looking or possibly judging her. Just thankful that she had another day.

Daaaaaaance! 

At that moment, I felt really silly about staying in my seat week after week after week. Yes, I had more work to do but, it had been a stressful day and the best stress reliever would have been to jump right out there on the dance floor and have a good time. But, I let the moment slip right on by. There is no doubt that, when you are faced with a major health crisis, you appreciate life more. But, why should we wait until then to notice all of the wonderful and positive things around us? It's easy to get caught up with work and the myriad of obligations that demand our time. And we certainly have to prioritize or we will never get the important and necessary things done. But, sometimes you do have to take a moment, be thankful, and have fun. And when that moment comes and you have the chance to sit it out or dance, as the song goes..."I hope you dance".

Deciding to be Happy

Think about how many choices you make a day. When to set the alarm, what to have for breakfast, what to wear, which route to take to work, when to make a doctors' appointment, what to cook the kids for dinner? Sometimes I think I make a hundred decisions a day. Some decisions come quickly and others we ponder for hours, days, weeks. I've learned that one of the best decisions we can make for ourselves is deciding to be happy. That may seem hard to do with all of the challenges that are thrown at us on a daily basis. It's hard to be happy when you have piles of bills to pay, if you are struggling with a health crisis, if your kids or spouse seem ungrateful for your sacrifices, if you have to deal with difficult co-workers or a boss that doesn't recognize your worth  - the list goes on and on. But, it's important that we don't let negative events or the negative energy of others invade our peace of mind. For me, one of the best ways to accomplish this is to focus on God's blessings, no matter how small. 

I was facing a very challenging day. There were some things that were weighing heavily on my mind and I could feel myself having a small pity party and I wanted to put the brakes on it right away. So, I decided that I throughout the day, I was going to take note of any and everything that was beautiful, funny or that I was just plain grateful for. As soon as I put the words into the universe, the first thing happened: my dad called me. I always love talking to Dad because he's so philosophical and he always puts me in a good mood, letting me know that I can handle anything. It might have been a conversation that I took for granted before I decided that everything good that day was going to hold some significance. But, when I got off the phone, I gave thanks that I had my daddy and that he loves me. The next thing, that I took note of - the beautiful weather. It was a sunny and beautiful day. I had been watching the news and other parts of the country were dealing with tremendously cold weather. Being here in LA, we get spoiled with the good weather - taking it for granted. But, today, I gave thanks that the day was clear and I could see the mountains from my window. On my way to run errands for the day, I was distracted for a moment and about to miss my exit on the freeway. As, I tried to make my way from the middle lane to the right, a couple cars sped up preventing me from getting over. As I was about to get frustrated by the thought of having to go a mile out of my way, a nice woman slowed a bit so I could get over and I was able to make my exit. Small, but, today, I'm taking note of all that I can. In search of more stuff in the "good" column, I was in the elevator at the public building and this little boy looked at his mom and said, loudly, "Mommy, I have to poop!". The look on the mother's face caused everyone to smile. Was good enough for me. The day went on and I wrote down everything that I could: seeing an old friend in the post office who told me about the new Zumba class that she was teaching, a residual check for .01 cent that I was able to laugh with my girlfriend about, my cousin from Georgia sending me an encouraging text, a parking spot right in front of the mall - the list went on and on. On a usual day, most of these things would never have been remembered but, once I made the decision to be happy that day, they all made me feel better. By the end of the day, I had about 20 positive things written down and it made me realize that the blessings are always there - I just had to look for them.  In no way do these things erase real problems and real problems still have to be dealt with. But, what I found was that I wasn't OVERWHELMED by the issues of the day, and it gave me the control over what to focus on.  And, I have to admit, when I need a laugh, I just remember the little boy in the elevator and instantly, I feel better. xo, Shaun

Alayjah's Miracle

Our family had a a true miracle this past week. My 10-year-old niece, Alayjah, (on the right) had been experiencing tramatic seizures for several months. An MRI revealed that she had a cyst on her brain. Doctors put her on medication hoping that it would alleviate the seizures. Two weeks ago, my mother called me early in the morning (which is never a good sign) and said that Alayjah had been rushed to the hospital. During the night, she had a seizure, vomited and stopped breathing. A mother's instinct. Her mother JUST HAPPENED to go upstairs to check on her and found her non-responsive. She called the ambulance, and when they got her to the hospital, doctors worked to revive her. Alayjah was put on a ventilator. Our family is deeply religious so we began our prayer circles - we had everyone we knew lifting Alayjah up in prayer. Slowly she was able to breathe on her own. A week later, doctors cut open her skull, took out a bone, cut out the cyst, put the bone back, and put the piece of skull back. The NEXT day, Alayjay was up walking, talking and texting. Three days later, she was back at home, a little grumpy due to a headache but , miraculously alive and no brain damage. God is good. It was such a trying time for our family. There were moments of doubt, there was certainly lots of crying. But, through it all, we were witness to a true MIRACLE.

Ebony Magazine

Your Purpose

This morning, I woke up with a renewed passion. I always try to start my day giving thanks to God for waking me up. "Thank you, Lord" are the first words that I utter - not audibly but, very consciously. This is something that just comes so naturally for me because of what my parents and grandparents instilled in me as a child - that life is a blessing. I remember, as far back as 5-years-old, the last words that I spoke at night were a prayer - "Now, I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." Hands clasped, eyes closed and kneeling at the side of my bed, my little prayer would continue: "God please bless all the sick people and poor people." (Which really included US). Next, on my list was my family starting with "God bless Mom, Dad, Michael, Grandma, Mama Ashie, Daddy Jimmy, Papa, Mama Nonie, Grandpa Robinson..." and go on and on until I couldn't think of any more relatives. Then, I would give an "Amen", make the sign of the Cross, jump in bed, tucked in with a kiss on the forehead from Mom or Grandma. 

I had no worries as a child - never fearing that God would let me "die before I wake".  Today...Michael, Grandma, Mama Ashie, Daddy Jimmy, Papa, Mama Nonie, Grandpa Robinson, and a host of others who were on my little prayer list, have gone on to heaven - their souls resting with God - just like I asked Him as a child and I know He has answered me. 

Life IS a blessing. But, it is also a challenge. My sleep as a child was never interrupted by worries of bills, job stress, bullying, the NFL's odd and changing domestic violence policy, Ferguson, ISIS, the missing girls in Nigeria and all the other world chaos we are confronted with when we turn on the news. The caption that I posted along with the picture above of this incredibly angelic little baby was, "Just Pray". This photo and that simple message were met with close to a HALF MILLION "Likes" on my Facebook page and 10,000 comments - numbers that truly overwhelmed me. Just looking at this child in earnest prayer inspired so many. It's one of my favorite pictures ever.

Someone said to me, "But we can't just pray away all of these horrible things happening in the world." We all know that is true. I said at the beginning that I woke up this morning with a renewed passion. Actually, that passion comes to me most mornings. It comes to me when I give thanks for another day to use every fiber of my being to change the world for the better. That passion comes to me when I thank God for my eyesight to see the things I need to help change, for my hearing to hear the voices of the girls I want to inspire, and for my health that enables me to get out of the bed and make a difference. 

Of course, we can't just pray away problems. But, we can use prayer to become more in tune to the needs of others and to have faith that God is working in us to give us the strength we need to meet every challenge with courage and optimism - that everything is evolving for our greater good. ~Amen. 

FitFigures Magazine

Metro You Magazine

Today's Black Woman Magazine

Ambassador Magazine

Closer Magazine